Sometimes we need a gut job.
A short reflective post about the previous chapters.
My willpower was fried from the last ride and I couldn’t keep myself calm.
I had a routine. Look in the cabinets. Close the cabinets. Look in the refrigerator. Close the refrigerator. Stand and stare out the window and think about food. Repeat until forced to choose food.
I didn’t feel like I belonged, and I had this nagging feeling I should quit. When I finally told my mom I wasn’t going to sign up again next year this huge wave of relief washed over me. I knew right away I made the right decision.
My hell was just beginning. Body weak and sweaty, I lined up between the first set of wooden doors. Instructions for number of laps and times expected were handed out, and then we ran, and ran, and ran.
If I look back I can see how the culmination of high school combined with the friends and mentors I interacted with, not only created my worldly perspectives but also shaped how I viewed myself.
Not only was I wasting hours of time every few days on playing video games, but I tried hiding it from view.
Wait, wait, wait. What the hell Jay I thought we were talking about personal growth, not puberty!
The large engine came to life as it guzzled gas and the car leapt forward. The curvy dark road was a direct shot back to town. At this time of night it wasn’t heavily used so the car behind us came up neck and neck to my car.